I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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