I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
