new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
