I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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