Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
