Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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