i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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