Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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