Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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