Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
