Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
