I want to walk on stilts...naked
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
