True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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