I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
