my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
