"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
