I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
