life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
