I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
