I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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