Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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