are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
wat bout pragnant strippers??
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize