babies were throwing up all over the place
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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