well you can't waste a boner
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
