dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
