Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
