I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
