Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
false alarm. still invincible.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
