Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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