Sry I called you an 8
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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