Having a random hookup so left but love u
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
