we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
