Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
