how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am one with the molecules
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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