what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
