I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
