so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
