I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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