you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
