so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
