Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
