Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
