Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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