And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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