IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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