On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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