Kiss
Puke
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
