Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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