I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
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