walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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