She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
