i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize