You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
