So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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