I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
