Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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