My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
