Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
